We all want to be happy. When we are unhappy we are prone to think that we have been cheated out of some thing which should be ours by right. Our happiness, or lack or it, will depend on what we mean by happiness.
It can imply a life of ease and
plenty with nothing ever going wrong. If you refuse to settle for anything else
than this unrealistic notion, you are never likely to achieve it . We must face
up to reality, to the hard fact that life
is basically insecure.
People change. The things we desire
and work hard to get rarely have value. This applies not only in terms of hard
cash but also in the degree of satisfaction we derive from them. We also change
as much as life and other people. What satisfies us today may no longer content
us tomorrow. We cannot be happy unless we recognize the effect of our restlessness and discontent
and keep it within reason.
Some people believe that in order to
be happy it is necessary to fill our lives full and be overflowing with a host
of activities. They say: “I simply do not understand how anyone can be happy sitting down doing
nothing. I must have something to do to fill every minute of the day”. They
cannot control the compulsive urge to keep doing things, keep moving, keep talking, as though there is something sinister and forbidding
about quietness and silence. Of course, this gives us an opportunity to think.
Sometimes this is unwelcome and when we keep busy and are out among people we
can put it off.
A feature of a really happy person is
his ability to be happy when he is on his own . He welcomes a chance to be
quiet and relax and let the world go by. Of course, we should enjoy being with
people. But not in the sense of being dependent
on them for our happiness and
peace of mind so that we become miserable if they happen to be thoughtless,
moody or abrupt.
To be a really happy person you have
to be able to take people as you find them, and let them come and go as they
please. You have to be able to manage without people, to be emotionally independent, able to stand on your own feet
and capable of standing alone. We are not really happy unless we are good
friends with ourselves and can enjoy our own company.
Real lasting happiness is not
something you can buy like a package holiday in the sunshine. It is not
something somebody else can give you, no matter how often you believe you are in
love. Real true lasting happiness has to develop inside you. It is nourished or starved by what you really are, and by what you are really seeking from life and
Emotionally immature people gain an
illusion of happiness when they have things all their own way, but they can
never be given enough attention, interest and love, to satisfy them. People
have to give way all along the line to
reassure them and keep them happy. They always put themselves first and
everybody else a long way behind. Emotional immaturity is responsible for the
break – up of many relationships.
If you want to be really
happy, examine your attitude to other people,
and what you want from them and from life as a whole, and to what is happening
to you and around you. Make sure that you think and act like a mature
responsible adult and not like a fretful child. If you are grownup in your
attitude, you will be considerate, concerned with the effect your actions have
on others. You will want to make other people happy even when this means not always doing, or having,
exactly what you want.
Happy people are outward looking.
They are not obsessed with themselves and their self – importance. If you want
to be really happy, you will encourage
yourself to be interested in other people and things outside yourself. Happiness comes
when we forget all about ourselves in our wish to share life
with those around us and make them